Whenever it rains or whenever I see NS boys on board the trains, I''ll always think about you. What would your future be like? Maybe every Sunday when I go over, you'll tell me your plans in SMU. You're a smart boy, do you know that? You are academically smart and street-smart. 20 years old is too young to die. Until, your brother told me that you almost have been suffering half your lifetime, so if this makes you happy, then I hope you're happy too.

But also, YOU DO KNOW THAT YOU'RE GONNA GET HELL FROM ME WHEN I'M MEETING YOU 50 YEARS DOWN THE ROAD RIGHT? I might cry first though, when we meet, you'll prolly act all shy and say stuff like Äiyah... See, this place so nice" but I'm still gonna scold you then give a sisterly hug. Oh boy, how I missed you.

Chin yong, you used to laugh at me for attempting suicide and yet, you still chose this path. Anywho, I really hope the place you're living in has loads of watercress soup for you. HAHAHA!!! It's going to be a year since I've become Mrs. Yap. A year since you've helped out at my wedding. I will remember you going to the food tasting as well. How your brother was so shy to meet my parents. Sighs. Don't you know that I'll gladly go to your food tasting as well? What about the girl you've had a crush on for 6 years? I've seen her and she was crying soooo badly that I have a feeling she likes you too.

She even came to send you off. I know, because I saw her cry on the day you were cremated. Sometimes, I hate you. I hate you to put me through such grief. But I gotta thank you instead. Because now, I know how my parents and friends felt, the pain I put them through if I ever succeeded. And yes, that grief would be torturous. A 20 year old taught a 27 year old about grieving and loss. I should be ashamed of myself shouldn't I?

I'm going to bring Leia to see you on the 6th of April. I know, its a weird occasion and I should be out celebrating with your brother our anniversary. But I guess, I would like to spend it with both the Mr. Yap's. I really, truly miss you bro! I'll make sure you know this.

P.S. I know its not your style, but my friend wants me to tell you to haunt that bloody arsehole if you have the time. :) Give him hell, would you? HAHA!!